Single, and either loving it or resigned to it?

Category: Dating and Relationships

Post 1 by Godzilla-On-Toast (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Friday, 08-Jun-2012 20:50:10

So since we've had some topics about dating as regards blind people, I'm curious how many of you have chosen to remain single, either because you enjoy the single life or because you feel that although you wish you were in a relationship, you feel you will have to resign yourself to being single due to one thing or another.

Post 2 by DevilishAnthony (Just go on and agree with me. You know you want to.) on Friday, 08-Jun-2012 20:52:13

Hmmm, I'd like to find someone, but I'm awfully picky, and I don't know that what I'm looking fore actually exists. I'm usually happy enough being single, though once in a while, I do feel lonely.

Post 3 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Friday, 08-Jun-2012 20:59:52

I'm happy being single, but, if someone I deem worthy of being in a relationship with comes along, I'd certainly welcome that.

Post 4 by LittleSneezer (The Zone-BBS is my prison, but I like it here.) on Friday, 08-Jun-2012 21:17:48

I completely agree with Chelsea.

Post 5 by forereel (Just posting.) on Friday, 08-Jun-2012 23:09:36

I'm odd. I date, but enjoy, and even want my single life. I think I'd like to be in a one on one relationship, but it have to be with the right person. Right now dating is good, because I do desire companionship. I am honest and caring, and above all lucky, with the people I date, so so far it works.

Post 6 by Blue Velvet (I've got the platinum golden silver bronze poster award.) on Friday, 08-Jun-2012 23:21:43

I used to absolutely love being single and enjoyed dating casually and occasionally getting serious about someone for awhile. I had anactive social life when my health was good and I had a decent job. BUT FOR the past four years I've been out of work and feel there's no point in looking for another job because I keep ending up in the hospital which is why I lost my last job. this has also really cut down on my social life. It bothered me at first, but now I'm resigned to it and don't mind being single most of the time, but I certainly don't love it anymore.

Post 7 by TechnologyUser2012 (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Friday, 08-Jun-2012 23:53:25

I'm single right now and it doesn't bother me: i would rather be single than be with the wrong person. :)

Post 8 by Remy (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Saturday, 09-Jun-2012 3:26:31

I greatly dislike the single life. I feel incomplete. I don't believe in dating for dating's sake, but I enjoy my life better when I can share it with someone. After seven years with the same lovely woman, i honestly can't imagine ever going back to that life again.

Post 9 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Saturday, 09-Jun-2012 18:36:43

I've pretty much resigned myself to being single. Its taken a long time to realize it but I obviously don't have very good instincts when it comes to the ladies and so the ones I attract are more often than not all about drama. And this happens even when I don't actively go looking for love. So I've pretty much decided, especially recently, that I'm better off just loving on my cat. I can cuddle him pretty much anytime I want and I know he'll never lie to me or stab me in the back. Then again I don't speak cat so he could very well be lying to me LOL. But judging by the way he is with me I'd say not. Yeah I'd love to share my life with someone but at the same time I've grown tired of the drama, and I've never had much patience with that to begin with.

Post 10 by GreenTurtle (Music is life. Love. Vitality.) on Saturday, 09-Jun-2012 21:04:04

I've been single for about a year now. I've had some pretty bad experiences in my past relationships, so I'm not really looking. At first I thought I would hate being single, but it's really not that bad. If the right person comes along, I won't turn them away, but I know that due to a lot of things that have happened to me, it will take me a long time to open up and trust someone again.

Post 11 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Saturday, 09-Jun-2012 21:29:09

Problem is that most people these days aren't that patient. As for the whole right one philosophy I don't think I believe in that.

Post 12 by GreenTurtle (Music is life. Love. Vitality.) on Saturday, 09-Jun-2012 21:56:15

I don't either. You wouldn't be dating someone if you didn't think they were right for you at the time. Right doesn't mean forever. It can just as easily mean right now. Relationships can end badly, and that person can seem very wrong for you months or years down the line, but at one point in your lives, the two of you made a decision to be together.

Post 13 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Sunday, 10-Jun-2012 0:04:10

Exactly. You only discover later that it wasn't a good decision.

Post 14 by Thunderstorm (HotIndian!) on Sunday, 10-Jun-2012 12:06:36

I personally feel each and everyone is need of someone. by the name of partner, or by the name of wife, or by the name of husband, or even by the name of companion. Some may get along with their cibblings too. But not in my case.

Even though I feel lonely whenever I'm at home, this internet is keeping me engaged.

I'm not going to search or hunt for my partner. But if the right person comes, who she is accepting who I am, I'll surely accept that.

Raaj.

Post 15 by OceanDream (An Ocean of Thoughts) on Monday, 11-Jun-2012 11:21:13

I believe the single life is what you make of it. it can be very enjoyable, or it can be hell. it has its perks and it's painful moments. I'm sure everyone has experience both sides of it at some point, but depending how worthwhile the enjoyable parts are to you, the unpleasant parts may or may not be tolerable. I'm not currently single, nor do I intend to remain that way forever should it ever happen, but in general, my view is that, as someone said, though companionship is important, there are times when being single is a good thing. It can help you discover more about yourself so you can find a better partner for you later on down the road, and it can help you heal from past relationships.

Post 16 by little foot (Zone BBS is my Life) on Friday, 06-Jul-2012 22:59:03

Back when I was single now I am maried.
I use to be single cause I can be who ever i wanted to be with do what i wanted and fuck who who I wanted.
but now I am not that way and I am glad.
I am glad that I am the person I am now a mother wife and and some one to talk to if you want to be a friend.
that is what I have to say about this topic

Post 17 by Siriusly Severus (The ESTJ 1w9 3w4 6w7 The Taskmaste) on Friday, 24-Aug-2012 22:58:28

single for now, and welll, happy with it, and I want to work full time, and I don't want to have to deal with someone else, I don't want children, I wouldn't have time for that, and time for a relationship unless mr. perfect absolutely comes along and steals my heart but otherwise, I don't plan on it. I don't consider the status of taken unless, we know for sure we're going to be together for a long time and, I certainly don't consider online relationships to be too serious.

Post 18 by forereel (Just posting.) on Saturday, 25-Aug-2012 1:59:59

Steals her heart for a week.That long enough honey?

Post 19 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Monday, 27-Aug-2012 18:33:04

Hmm, I believe the incas made a practice of stealing many hearts. Which still beat for awhile after being stolen.

Post 20 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Tuesday, 28-Aug-2012 1:58:47

LOL good one Leo.

Post 21 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Thursday, 30-Aug-2012 0:08:33

I go back and forth. Many times I love the single life be sometimes I'll think, "I need to find someone." I guess if something happens it happens.

Post 22 by Lisa's Girl forever (Help me, I'm stuck to my chair!) on Tuesday, 04-Sep-2012 7:30:59

I'm happily in a one on one relationship. and loveing it completely. etc. it works. i like my personal space too. but i am not complaneing.

Post 23 by Godzilla-On-Toast (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Tuesday, 04-Sep-2012 17:30:01

Let's steer the topic just a little bit. How many of you would say that you wish you were in a relationship, but feel that because you might be isolated or perhaps you don't see yourself as so interesting or have been rejected too many times, that you feel you are stuck being single for the rest of your life?

Post 24 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Tuesday, 04-Sep-2012 18:21:41

I honestly don't see being committed to someone in the cards I was dealt, but I don't view it as a bad thing, at all.
although I'm sure many would argue I can't truly be this happy single, I assure you, I am. I mean, honestly, I don't even think about it. it simply is what it is.

Post 25 by forereel (Just posting.) on Tuesday, 04-Sep-2012 22:19:12

I'm single and enjoy relationships, or have without the tie up. I just really don't need it now.
I do admit I like and want intimate, going out, that sort of thing, but after the date, a night or weekend, I'm totally content with me for a few days or so.
I don't resign to anything, because I'm not unhappy.

Post 26 by GreenTurtle (Music is life. Love. Vitality.) on Tuesday, 04-Sep-2012 22:39:39

I wouldn't say I think I'm going to be single forever. If something happens, it happens. I don't mind being single for the moment because I think about the relationships I've had that didn't work out, and say to myself, well, I'm glad I'm not still in those relationships." That's all the motivation I need if I ever start getting lonely.

Post 27 by jewel389 (Veteran Zoner) on Friday, 02-Nov-2012 4:02:34

i chose the single life because the idea of balanceing my life with someone else makes me nervous and gives me a headache.
i am also barely leave the house so people meaning guys don't notice me. i like my single life and without any complication of someones life. my life is complicated enough

Post 28 by mrpibb (Veteran Zoner) on Monday, 05-Nov-2012 23:59:44

Post 23 is spot on. In my case isolation and not feeling interesting enough. I am rather shy and prefer my own company so I am isolated mostly by choice. I am also rather picky so the girls that I meet and like, I feel deserve someone more interesting than me. Rejection also plays a part but I think rejections have been because of me so hopefully I have learned from those mistakes.

I think I was finally resigned to being single at least until I moved on to graduate school or a career but this latest girl ruined that and gave me hope of a relationship again. Now that she has seemingly lost interest it has been pretty painful recently. It was nice to see someone articulate the thoughts that I have had recently even if the OP doesn't feel them personally.

Post 29 by Rune Knight (Ancient Demon - Darkness will always conquer Light!) on Tuesday, 06-Nov-2012 2:44:28

I enjoy the single life to a certain extent but I wouldn't say I was resigned to it. I do get lonely every now and then.

Post 30 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Tuesday, 06-Nov-2012 14:46:00

Oh sure, we all do. I just tell myself to take things one step at a time.

Post 31 by starfly (99956) on Wednesday, 07-Nov-2012 9:25:07

I will steer this topic a little further, when you are in a one way relationship and give it your all, its at a end, I am currently learning its time to take a step back and reavaluate one's life. Its not time to just go jump into another just because of the fear of beeing lonely and missing someone. Just my two sense as I navagate this life with the direction of my heavenly fauther.

Post 32 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Wednesday, 07-Nov-2012 12:40:32

I agree. You need to be careful and not just dive right in.

Post 33 by electro-mix (Newborn Zoner) on Thursday, 29-Nov-2012 14:21:09

I'm single and absolutely loving it. I wouldn't mind if I was single for the rest of my life. On the other hand it isn't like I'm opposed to relationships either. I've had my fair share of absolutely horrible relationships to the point where I'm just happy on my own. In my opinion if you can't live with just yourself you can't hope to have a fulfilling relationship with another person.

Post 34 by Imprecator (The Zone's Spelling Nazi) on Sunday, 09-Dec-2012 15:42:42

Resigned to it. The girl I've wanted since 1996 is now married.

Post 35 by Runner229 (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Sunday, 09-Dec-2012 17:30:22

I've been single for a while now. Two of my exes still try and convince me that we should try again. Hahaha.
I take it for what it is. If someone interesting comes along, I'll get to know them and make sure it's worth getting involved with. Back in the early days of my dating history, I'd date someone after meeting them just a few days earlier. That usually turned out regretable. I'm not afraid of rejection, but then again it always sucks. Best thing to do after that is just move on, and enjoy being single while awaiting the next possibility.

Post 36 by margorp (I've got the gold prolific poster award, now is there a gold cup for me?) on Monday, 10-Dec-2012 12:57:55

It pays to be caucious.

Post 37 by Runner229 (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Monday, 10-Dec-2012 15:05:03

Yeah, it sure does. At the same time though, sometimes a little experimenting will be benefitial. Trying to date people with different personalities and ethnic backgrounds will help broaden your horizon. Then again, though I don't see a problem with that, others, for whatever reason, think it's wrong do do so.

Post 38 by softy5310 (Fuzzy's best angel) on Saturday, 02-Feb-2013 1:40:06

i'm resigned to being single. I have been single for the better part of two and a half years now. I've been hurt a lot in my life and am afraid of rejection. i've found a couple of people in the last year whom I have felt, would be great to be with if things were to work. However the most recent one is not over his most recent ex, so we can't be together right now. It's not that I need to be with someone because I don't. However I love being with someone. I don't do as well when I'm on my own for the most part. I love talking to someone and communicating with and trusting someone on that level and for them to trust me. I love doing things with someone and just having someone there, I guess. I love helping someone with things and having them help me with things. i love relationships, if they're good, but I have issues with trust too because of my past. I feel much more complete when I am in a good relationship than I do on my own. So anyway, I'm resigned to being single.
Dawnielle

Post 39 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Wednesday, 06-Feb-2013 14:22:03

I'm pretty much resigned to it as well. O there's a woman who claims she wants me but we dated once before a few years back and she lied about being pregnant because she thought it was the only way she could keep me around. Turns out she wasn't after all. That and her insecurities are such that oftentimes she'd make arrangements to come hang out on a certain day and at a certain time and then never show up. Then of course she doesn't call to say she's not coming or respond to my calls or texts. Then later se claims she didn't get any of them. So needless to say I'd be beyond shocked if we ever got together. And while there have been other womenI've been interested in I don't do the long distance thing.

Post 40 by forereel (Just posting.) on Thursday, 07-Feb-2013 0:32:57

But you've not been single bout a month or less? Weren't you just living with a woman and her little girl?
I'm not asking to be mean, I really want to know?
A month is not resigned. Smile.

Post 41 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Thursday, 07-Feb-2013 9:24:37

It can be.

Post 42 by forereel (Just posting.) on Thursday, 07-Feb-2013 10:11:16

Well seems to me resigned to being single means you haven't and will not have a mate, or you think not, so you decide that you are going to remain single.
In your case you resently had a mate, so haven't been single long at all. Her scent is probably still in much of the things in your house actually.
Now I am single, but not resigned at all, because my singleness is a choice and I date, but have not had anyone live with me for many years. I'd guess you'd call me parshally single or a bachelor by choice.

Post 43 by chelslicious (like it or not, I'm gonna say what I mean. all the time.) on Thursday, 07-Feb-2013 12:27:39

I agree with Wayne here. you can't classify yourself as being resigned to the single life, when you've gotten out of a relationship pretty recently.

Post 44 by Runner229 (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Friday, 08-Feb-2013 11:28:57

I see what you are both are saying, however, I don't see time alone as being a determining factor in saying whether you resign to being single.

Post 45 by DevilishAnthony (Just go on and agree with me. You know you want to.) on Friday, 08-Feb-2013 11:47:08

A lot of times, when a relationship ends badly, people will say they're resigned to being single, or that they're done with dating, but most of the time, it's pretty short lived and they're back on the market soon enough.

Post 46 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Friday, 08-Feb-2013 12:03:59

Yup, it's a lot like getting a hangover: you say "I'll never do that again!" until that night, at which point your presence is noticed at some local watering hole.

Post 47 by TechnologyUser2012 (I've now got the silver prolific poster award! wahoo!) on Saturday, 09-Feb-2013 15:49:03

lol exactly to the last 2 posters.

Post 48 by darksword (Generic Zoner) on Tuesday, 21-May-2013 20:38:51

This may be a dead thread. Yet I will weigh in with my outlook. While I would be wonderfully and joyfully surprised if the right person came into my life, I also have come to the conclusion that I don't think it will ever happen.

I am an extravert who happens to be living a bit of an introvert's existence due to circumstance. As a result, it is difficult to meet new and different people very often in a face to face fashion.

My one deal breaker tends to eliminate a lot of possibilities as well. I do not wish to create or raise custodial children in any fashion. I have simply always known that the love, commitment, dedication, energy and resilience that I want to have for a partner is something I don't have (and don't want to have) when it comes to children. I would want our potential relationship to allow us to focus on each other as well as the other adults in our lives. For me, the idea of raising children represents the creation of a division that would hamper what I would want to be a selfless (and exclusive) commitment to only one person. Since I am a late 30 something, many women have already intentionally or accidentally added the mix of minors to their lives. Combine that with the blindness which can be exclusionary to others and many people are taken out of the pool of contenders. It's better to focus on leading a quiet life.

Post 49 by Tila Tequila! (Zone BBS Addict) on Wednesday, 22-May-2013 2:25:35

I love being single. I do wish I had someone to protect me every now and then when a tornado comes through but I guess that is why man invented shelters. lol! Everyone needs someone. People get bent out of shape when they see people who have lots and lots of friends but honestly surround yourself with a few really good good friends and your set. I have had the millions of friends in college but now that I'm graduated and out in the "real world", as my mom calls it, I don't hear from many of them.

Plus, love always comes when your not looking. Focus on you and it will happen when the time is right and your not expecting!

Post 50 by LeoGuardian (You mean there is something outside of this room with my computer in it?) on Wednesday, 22-May-2013 17:17:53

Darksword, acceptance of the childfree status is more and more common now. Also being a man it is difficult, since in general (of course there are exceptions), men who say they don't want kids are called selfish while women who say they don't want kids are applauded for getting their needs met.
At any rate, and there are exceptions to this as well but it's generally true, child-free people who have throught it through tend to make their intentions clear. So, I imagine you will more easily find a woman who wants to be child-free than you would have a few years ago. Even the term child-free is a more enlightened description than childless, or, when I was a kid, we called them DINKs, double income no kids.

Post 51 by BryanP22 (Novice theriminist) on Thursday, 23-May-2013 13:16:01

LOL my most recent x was probably back on the market before we even called it off. She's had at least four boyfriends in the six or seven months since we parted ways and she just married the most recent one a few weekends ago. As for those who've said they were done after a nasty breakup and then been back on the market soon afterward I'll freely admit I've been there. I've just been making an honest effort since this most recent one to break that pattern. LOL. I guess I'd say that it's probably in my best interest, for the foreseeable future at least, to stay single and just enjoy being able to have a kitty again.LOL. As for kids I can go either way. I wouldn't object to having children if the right woman ever comes along, but at the same time I won't be devastated if I never do.

Post 52 by rdfreak (THE ONE AND ONLY TRUE-BLUE KANGA-KICKIN AUSIE) on Friday, 24-May-2013 1:38:13

I'm extremely late to answering this question, but I always hated being single. I'mm in my first relationship now and I'm 34;
It was all about unrequited loves with me; I thought i'd be single for the rest of my life and I just hated that. I felt that my sister and all my friends were taken and getting married, even having kids but lil old me.
I never wanted to be in one relationship after the other; ie, wanted to be in as few relationships as possible before I found the right one to spend my life with. My current partner and I are committed to being together for the rest of our lives so hopefully that may ring true. One never knows what's around the corner; I'm just saying that is my wish.

Post 53 by Bamm (Newborn Zoner) on Tuesday, 13-Aug-2013 3:37:58

single and loving it!